Monday, September 27, 2010

Goodbye, September

My sister moved out this weekend. Here is a brief list of things she left behind (she might be planning on coming back for them): a box of toys, a broom and dustpan, a mattress, one beach towel, a chiminea, a tv, dust bunnies, broken beach chairs, an almost used up piece of soap, a new piece of soap that everyone is probably allergic to, a little basket of cat toys, a dvd/vcr combo. There might be more. I find her things unexpectedly.

Something else I found unexpectedly is that I miss her. So much.

I have a short story in this online journal (in issue three). You have to open the e-book. Mine is the last story in it, under MR Sheffield. http://www.springgunpress.com/journal

I finally finished my entire first stack of 80 or so papers. While I was expecting a feeling of supreme accomplishment, alas, it never materialized. Instead, I was seized by anxiety.

Reasons I feel anxious: we have to move soon (house or no house, we probably won't stay here in the "bad" neighborhood where the cops will pull you over and search your car for no reason), it's really hard to move in the middle of a school semester, I miss my sister, the house is a mess (partly due to her moving out, and also because we haven't felt like cleaning because everything has been in such a state of upheaval [see: my last post]), I'm teaching five classes...

Now. Although I'm nervous about a long list of things, I'm also surprisingly calm. I have the wherewithal to remind myself that things will work out. And I have incredible family members and friends who support me. So. I find myself often sort of swinging back from panic to calm.

Today I feel good. More grading is in order, but it's not insurmountable. It's, in fact, really do-able, mostly because I finished the big pile yesterday.

Oh! And we made everything-roasted-vegetable soup last night. It was really helpful, because I find that when I'm having trouble sleeping due to anxiety, if I go over a recipe in my head (a bit compulsively, but still), it calms me down and allows me to sleep. Before bed last night I was remembering slicing the potatoes and removing carrot peel.

Looking forward to Wednesday at Patrice's. Bobby and I are making raviolis, but we're not making the pasta or anything; we're using wonton wrappers. This is actually my favorite kind of ravioli. But we shall see, shan't we?

One more thing. Now that I've memorized all 105-110 of my kids' names, I think I've been forgetting other people's names. They've been pushed right out of my head.

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